to mildred,gly and CT:
i admit i din not dare to speak the truth out in front of euu...
but i did let out my feelings to crystal...
but i think that its my fault that i had that kinda feelings and after a while i was gonna be gone...
so i dun feel like talking about it too...
thats why but after that i found out that euu was angry with me...
thats why i didn't call euu last friday...
and i went to my blog before that to clear up everything...
and i really can't speak up...thats true...
thats why i prefer to do it in front of the computer...
i admit that i should have called euu to my hse...
but i have to confirm that if gly and ct really hate me for what i am doing and they dun wanna come than whats the point when euu hate me even more...
euu sure wun come unless they come right...
i only have three of euu as my closer friends...
frankly speaking...
i dun wanna lost euu all too...
but i really hope that euu can be less straightforward...
cause the more euu ask the more i dun dare to answer euu...
thats my character...if euu really know me more...
now euu should be thinking why i told crys everything...
she didn't sort of forced me to say...or keep asking me...i told her on my own...
she gives me time and space...
but euu just keep asking and asking me...
if euu would have ask me just once maybe in a few mins time i would have told euu...
i dun deny that gly and ct hate me...
i wasn't that close to ct...
so i dun really know what she is thinking and she is always following you...
so i dun really count that as a ps...
for glynnis i have already notice that she have totally lose interest in staying with me...
i can sence that she is getting tired to be with me...
euu see i can sence that...thats why i didn't wan to irritate you further...
seriously speaking,i didn't read the post that euu wrote before...
until last saturday...
i would be in-human and lying if i said i wasn't sad...
i was angry too...but i didn't really confront euu in person...
or gly and ct...
i know euu wan people to accept euur straightforwardness...
but hey euu remember the malysia trip when euu wanted to buy presents for them and suddenly after euu read an sms than euu stomp off...i asked euu why but euu didn't wan to say...i didn't probe further right...
put euurself in my shoes...
if that day i was to keep asking and asking euu...
euu will be pissed right...
not mentioning the one euu are angry with is the one asking euu the question...
in that circumstances would euu answer?
maybe euu would because of euur character or maybe not because euu can say that it is non of my business...but that not my type of character...
but i hope euu can think of my feelings that day...
i told crys because i know that she wouldn't confront euu...so she is like a listening ear to me...she just listen to it and maybe forget about it...thats why i choose to talk to her...
i can't talk to gly...she is in it too...
ct is so close to the two of euu...i dun wan her to sandwich in between...but she confirm will tell wan...
i have nth more to say...but i really hope sometimes euu can really think of other...
i nv denied i cried...
before this i wasn't really having good relationship with my family members...
i believe that euu can ct have know...
gly would sure tell euu that it was so serious that i almost wanna run away from home...but i really hope that when this kinda things happen,euu will still be beside me...i dun blame euu for telling them if euu did...i know euu hate me but i can change...but pls give me time...and be less straight forward...
its very easy to see through gly sometimes...i know when she is talking about me...and even lky fri night i sense that something was wrong...thats why i told crys...euu can ask her what i sent to her...i told her i was suspicious...not trying to show that i am clever or what...although when crys sms me the answer that euu told me,i did think that it was true...until when euu ask me where i was going and on that day when i ask where euu was euu didn't tell me...maybe mildred ask euu to...but i dun blame all of euu larhh...if we were to bum into each other...i dunno how to react...but i dun blame euu...frankly speaking i also do that...but i say things that is in an acceptable range...and the sms i sent euu ytd...its true...
i really hope that euu can be beside me...